Finally…finally, for the first time in my life I am on a regular gym schedule. It feels good. Now if I can just continue to eat and exercise the way I’m supposed to, I should be where I want to be by the time our trip to the Bahamas rolls around.

So this time at the gym is proving itself to be a great killer of many birds with one stone. I catch up with a co-worker on the treadmill, watch terrible primetime TV, people watch, and, oh yeah, get a work out in as well. Why I didn’t pick up on all the multi-tasking glory of the gym sooner, I do not know.

Okay, the people watching. Oy. You have your regular gym attendees. You know them by what they are wearing, what they are doing, and after a while just by facial recognition. I can pick out most people who are in the same area of the gym as me on the days that I go.

New people sorta stick out. A few weeks ago there was a straggler from a Zumba class that wandered over to the treadmills. The way you know they’re from Zumba — brightly colored clothing (usually teal or lime green official Zumba wear), sometimes jangly belly-dancing inspired garb tied around the hips, and the dancing. You heard me right. Dancing. On the treadmill. Go on with your bad self cause I sure don’t have the coordination to keep up with the treadmill and get my groove on.

Not that I “get my groove on” that regularly anyway.

Zumba lady just kept on dancing and it was really, really distracting. The worst part? She was forcing her son, who appeared to be 10-12, to walk on the treadmill next to her. I don’t know about him, but if that was me I would be begging my mom to stop.

New people wearing jeans at the gym really stick out. Such was the case last night when I grabbed one of 2 treadmills that were available in the equipment room. Clearly, there was no one on it, no valuables left there, and no one said anything to me when I stepped up to use it, but their behavior and dirty looks after I did so led me to believe that maybe I had taken the treadmill that one of their family members had been on.

It was an entire denim-wearing family. Three on one side of me, one on the other. I was working up to my normal incline and pace when I noticed something odd. The girl on my right just kept staring at me. I’m not confrontational so I kept on walking, trying to look like I was really absorbed in what I was watching on the TV on my machine (switching between The Biggest Loser and Dancing With the Stars…not much on Tuesday nights). I do intervals with my speed and incline, so I’m switching things up a lot. What I saw out of the corner of my eye was that, not only was my treadmill neighbor staring, but every time I would speed up or slow down she would do the same. Going from a 4% incline up to a 10% and then onto a 12%? She was right there with me.

Now, that’s all fine and dandy and I understand what it’s like to be new at the gym. You want to make sure you’re doing things correctly and the whole experience can be very intimidating. It was for me. But the girl just kept laying on the stink eye. I would joke and say that maybe she was trying to follow my regimen because she admired my physique but that is such a JOKE that it ceases to convey any humor whatsoever.

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