Since I last updated I have been following the doctor’s orders and taking a double dose of the big probiotic and my symptoms are gone.

THANK YOU, LORD!

I was really worried that I might have some lingering problems, but within a day of starting the regimen I was feeling a slight difference and within a few days it was all but gone. It’s been nice not to be afraid to eat.

Thank you all so much for your prayers, kind words, and offers to help me out. I won’t lie — this has been and continues to be a rough holiday season, for reasons other than health issues.

I consider myself pretty empathetic and very understanding of most human behavior, be it behavior that I agree with or not, but sometimes I am stumped. Being an eldest child it is very hard for me to let go of control or to go on living life without knowing what is coming next. This is an area where I see God working on me constantly and I’m not anywhere near learning whatever lessons He has for me, apparently. With that I must say that this is looking like a season where God is teaching me and several other family members to let go and let Him take care of things. It is difficult, but I am trying. My heart aches, I am angry and defensive of my family. I want to lash out at the gossips and their family members that encourage their behavior, I want to say something against the people who call my family names and ridicule us — all of this being done behind a facade. But I can think of no way to do this without making myself or my family look like the instigators and melodramatic teenagers here.

So I hold my tongue. I work on learning the equal importance of nothing said when so many words want to come out. I will let God mend the pieces of my heart — my heart that aches so in the present circumstances. There is something much bigger going on here than my conflicting emotions. In the end, I know all will be right, though I have no idea what the path to that place looks like.

⁶ Don’t be fooled by those who try to excuse these sins, for the anger of God will fall on all who disobey him. ⁷ Don’t participate in the things these people do. ⁸ For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! ⁹For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.

¹⁰Carefully determine what pleases the Lord. ¹¹ Take no part in the worthless deeds of evil and darkness; instead, expose them. ¹² It is shameful even to talk about the things that ungodly people do in secret. ¹³ But their evil intentions will be exposed when the light shines on them, ¹⁴ for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said,

“Awake, O sleeper,
rise up from the dead,
and Christ will give you light.”

¹⁵ So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise. ¹⁶ Make the most of every opportunity in these evil days. ¹⁷ Don’t act thoughtlessly, but understand what the Lord wants you to do. ¹⁸ Don’t be drunk with wine, because that will ruin your life. Instead, be filled with the Holy Spirit, ¹⁹ singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs among yourselves, and making music to the Lord in your hearts. ²⁰And give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

²¹ And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. (Ephesians 5:6-21 NLT)

Related posts:

1. Clear as the dawn
2. On my heart tonight
3. Not a lot of words.