Five Minute Friday: Afraid

Whenever I feel afraid
I hold my head erect
And whistle a happy tune
So no one will suspect
I’m afraid.

I do not write about the things that scare me. Maybe that’s a mistake.

One time someone said that they thought of me as a very public person and they were surprised to find out something about me that I had never (at the time) written about on my blog. It was personal and raw and it was mine. No one owned it but me and I wasn’t ready to give it to the world.

The shocking thing to some people is that writers who have blogs don’t tell all. I think very often there is more to be read between the lines than anything I ever share.

While shivering in my shoes
I strike a careless pose
And whistle a happy tune
And no one ever knows
I’m afraid

When I saw this week’s theme, this song immediately came to mind, because I’ve had musicals on the brain and this is one of those songs you think about when you’re afraid if you grew up with a constant diet of R&H in your home.

And they occurred to me because I think it’s the way I choose to respond to fearful situations.

The lyrics are very disturbing in some ways. Putting up a facade so that no one ever knows you’re afraid. Unhealthy. I do it and I don’t recommend it.

The result of this deception
Is very strange to tell
For when I fool the people I fear
I fool myself as well!

And this can only go so far.

Make believe you’re brave
And the trick will take you far.
You may be as brave
As you make believe you are

This is maybe the only good thing about all of it. If you don’t pay attention for a moment, pretend that you aren’t as scared and do the things you would do if you weren’t afraid of failing or what others would think of you…maybe you would manage. You could surprise yourself and be capable of things you didn’t think you were. Then maybe something good could come from all of this suppression.

Be sure to check out the other Five Minute Friday posts!

Five Minute Friday

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6 Responses to Five Minute Friday: Afraid

  1. Paula says:

    Thanks for sharing this! I couldn’t agree more!

  2. I do it too. Hide the fear and not okay parts of me. And no, it’s not something I’d recommended to people. So then why can we not take our own advice?! :-) Praying for you today what God gives you whatever you need in your struggles, whatever they are.

  3. love that song! and love how you used it throughout your post. great piece of writing today.

  4. Fenny says:

    Being brave is about looking fear into the eyes and do whatever you fear anyway…. so, yes, it resonates with me. I think that admitting fear is frowned upon, as if one is weak. We are only weak if we let fear control us, wrestling with it – seen or unseen – is what makes us strong. So keep going!

  5. Becky Roode says:

    I think a fool myself A LOT. It’s not until I take time to be still and meditate and soak in my surroundings that I begin to realize that I’ve been numbing myself to fear or pain or both. But that just amounts to me faking it and I don’t want to look back and realize I’ve lived a fake, unauthentic life.
    This was so good – thank you for sharing it with us.
    (I also love that there is a musical tie-in. Bonus!)

  6. Emily says:

    I totally agree with this, and have been struggling with it myself. Thanks for sharing & being brave enough to write what’s on your heart today :)

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