I’ve been in a writing competition since March, producing something every week or so, and I’ve somehow made it into the top 100 of this thing. Hard for me to believe. My friend Katie had suggested it to me a long time ago and then again before this round started and I thought, Well, my life isn’t too busy right now. Heh.
There have been long weeks and short weeks. The short weeks appear to be occurring more frequently now and that’s making me nervous. I’ve already used all my “byes”, not even for any good reasons. Well, maybe that one leading up to me being on the plane headed to London was legitimate.
I’m producing all of this stuff. Some of it I’m proud of, some of it was totally phoned in, last minute, “Please don’t vote me off the island” stuff. Everybody has a bad week.
But it’s doing something. Stirring up things on the bottom. There is churning and it’s weird and good. When you’ve gone a long time without dipping in to that part of yourself where things are alive and happening, then you do…eek. I mean, it’s scary but it’s also wonderful. It reminds me of the time we cleaned out the fish pond (a cement well house that had an attached “cement pond” — no idea how else to describe it) at Granny and Paw Paw’s. We found an old rubber ball and all manner of things that had fallen into it over time. That pond had been smooth like glass as long as I could remember. Even though the bottom was dark, everything had settled. Then we started to clean it and everything churned up into this disgusting mess.
It was all fun until I decided to sit on the edge staring into the water like Narcissus and fell right in. Twenty years of fish pond sludge is enough to make anyone cry.